Sonic Angel Roommates: Santa Monica Sucks!
by Zecrus-chan
Summary: Sonic the Hedgehog has always been tolerable with his comfortable life in Buffalo, New York. His weekends in Santa Monica, with Panty and Stocking Anarchy are going to be a little different...and bizzare! Did i mention Daffy Duck tags along too? Hilarity and Obscurity ensues (Sonic the Hedgehog X Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt X Looney Tunes X Inside Out X etc.)
1. Fly Away, Now! To Santa Monica!

::/Sonic's POV

My name is Sonic the Hedgehog...and to be honest, I can't really tell whether or not , I'm in heaven or hell. Now, you may ask me: Why would I think such a thing? Well, it's a pretty awkward transition. Currently, I live in Buffalo, New York. I live with close roommates of mine as well. However, the fact that I live with them is mind-boggling. One of them is named Joy, who I can vouch for the fact that she is the most positive woman I have ever met. Sure, she's can be a bit too happy for her own good, but in the long run she knows what she is doing , especially acting as Mayor of Buffalo. I'm proud to call her my friend, to say the least.

The other roommate...in all honesty, I frequently question why I'm friends with him in the first place, let only why I'm his roommate. Daffy Duck is by far the most ridiculous person that I've ever met! He's obnoxious, arrogant, aloof, and really freaking lazy. Worst of all, he will do anything in his power to get what he wants, even as far as breaking every bone in his body. Believe me, I've witnessed that before...it was not pretty.

Anyways, I live in Buffalo, NY during the weekdays. In the weekends, however, Daffy and I travel to Santa Monica, California every weekend, to relax and take a load off. Joy usually doesn't join us, because she has a city to run, and is very busy. No worries, however. Luckily, I'm friends with a certain pair of sisters, who room with us in a Santa Monica summer home, near the Santa Monica pier, that we all share rent on, every weekend.

There names are Panty and Stocking Anarchy, and they are two angels who fell from heaven, due to their sins, and are currently trying to obtain enough of these "Heaven Coins", to be able to go back to Heaven. At least, that was their previous plan.

Now, they have decided to take a break from all of that and enjoy their sweet time here on Planet Earth, California specifically. Well, they live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, during the weekdays, and they surprisingly, are General Managers at their own Foot Locker there. Yes, I'm a General Manager at a Foot Locker in Buffalo too. Pretty cliche of me right? Hehe...right.

You'd probably expect to be excited about my job, since it involves footwear. Think about it: I can run faster than the speed of sound, too fast for the naked eye to see. I would like to run around in place yelling, "Yeah, Foot Locker!" , every day i work there! But, i dont. It's not all that cracked up to be, i promise you! Although i can't imagine myself, being excited for any retail job to be honest. Can you imagine me saying stuff like, "Yeah, McDonalds!"or "Yeah, Starbucks!" or Yeah, Bed, Bath and Beyond!"while running in place like a dingus? Well, my fandom overall has taken a rather odd turn over the years, so to most of my fans, i would not be surprised.

But to sum it all up, a lot of misadventures happen, when a cartoon duck with issues, two angel sisters with issues, and a blue hedgehog with issues, room together in the wonderful land of Santa Monica, California. Many of these "misadventures" of which i am not proud of at all, are messed up. Some are very messed up! Other are just plain stupid. There are a rare few that are just plain embarassing. But, regardless of all of that, i like my weekends at Santa Monica...it's less weird than at Buffalo, that's for sure. Heh, Go figure!

When you know how messed up these stories actually are, you might feel sorry for me. Or, you might make a fanfiction about it with your favorite Hedgehog OC. Let's see what comes first!


	2. Aimless Fight over Sweet Shit!

/General POV

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Santa Monica, California, an anthropomorphic cartoon dolt of a duck is currently having a fight with an immortal cartoon fallen angel with a ravenous sweettooth! Within the catacombs of the Mogul Site of sweets and coffee, Dunkin Donuts, heaven lolita, Stocking Anarchy and Daffy Duck are fighting over the last piece of Red Velvet Upside Down Donut, while fellow Roommates, Sonic the Hedgehog and Panty Anarchy watch and do nothing about it at all, but watch and laugh. The register operator is none other than Sonic's semi-stalker, Amy Rose! Go figure, right?!

Sonic and Panty are standing by the entrance, witnessing their roommates "duke it out" verbally. Luckily, there were no other people in the store, so things would escalate to dangerous proportions! As i said that previous, sentence, it will be revealed later on, that i have spoken too soon. Amy Rose is not focused on the two, acting like losers, but rather on Sonic! The nymphomanic fallen angel immediately calls it out.

"Oh Sonic?" Panty says in a rather sarcastic tone. "12:00! Somebody wants your needle dick!"

"Really, Panty?!" yelled Sonic, with an embarrassed look upon his face! "You do realizes that 's Amy right?"

"Yeah, and she clearly wants your dick! I know a fuck face when i see one, furry! Not only are her eyes locked on you, but she's biting her lip, in a hooker like fashion! Which means only one thing: She wants to super diddle you, while wrapped around you like a coiled snake!"

"I know she wants me, but not like that!"

"YES, like that, Sonic! Look at her! She looks like horny white girl, who drunk on Starbucks! Hell, i'd fuck her if she wasn't a furry girl."

Sonic is becoming very annoyed by Panty's smart ass attitude. Panty is loving it however, as she is enjoying Sonic's pissy state. Meanwhile, Daffy and Stocking, are butting heads over the last Red Velvet Upside Down donut! Things are heating up, as they are about to engage Cold War!

"I called it first, toots!" Daffy shouts, in anger and hunger. "Why do you always have to ruin my moments?! I was looking forward to trying this for months! MONTHS! You know this, Stocking!"

"...And?" Stocking says with confidence, as she isn't having Daffy's crap. "You were too slow in calling dibs on it. Therefore, you miss out on it! Tough tittes, roomie!

"I only want to try it once! One time! That's all!"

"Then you don't have to buy it then..."

"But, i wanna buy it! You know i wanna buy it!"

Daffy begins to shake in anger! Stocking smirks at how cute he looks and proceeds to tease him further.

"Listen sweet cheeks!" Stocking says slyly. "No offense, you don't do your sweettooth justice, by showing non-flexibility. I got first dibs, and therefore i get the last one, not you!"

"No, i won't let you!" Daffy retaliates in furious anger. He has had about enough of Stocking's remarks, and he is about to pop! "I came to far..."

"To lose it all?" Stocking says with a quick wit and a smirk.

"You're despicable, you know that? I have special-"

"Needs?" Stocking interrupts swiftly.

" I am a special-"

"-Needs Child?!"

"GRRAAAAH!" Daffy brings out his glock from the back of his tail. "If i cant have it, NO ONE WILL!" Daffy shoots at the cakes, right in front of the counter, destroying it all together! Sonic and Panty are dumbfounded, as the situation escalated very quickly!

"Well, crap!" Sonic shouts in suprise. "That escalated quickly!"

"Fuck yeah, it did!" Panty shouts in pure excitement, as she cheers for Daffy. "Let's go, Daffy Dick! Blow my sister's brains out! For me? Please? I'll suck your corkscrew dick if you do! And i'll play some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for you while i go to town on it! I'll even dress up as a sexy Shredder for you! You know want it, sweet cheeks!

"DUDE!" Sonic says in utter shock and terror. He absolutely cannot believe that she said that out loud. "PLEASE! Please tell me you didn't mean any of it! ANY of it!"

"Well, of course not!" Panty says. " I just want to play with Daffy's delicate emotions! I don't really want to suck his dick in any way. Now, pay attention! It's about to get good!"

Sonic is silent and dumbfounded...but he turns back to Daffy and Stocking. Amy is still staring at Sonic, but Sonic is trying his best to ignore her. Daffy laughs maniacally as Stocking is fueled with sugar-craving anger.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Daffy laughs in triumphant feeling! " I WIN!"

"Goddamnit!" Stocking shouts! "You retarded syphilitic runt! You always have to fuck up EVERYTHING do you?! "

"I could say the same thing to you, Tits Mcgee! "

"At least my tits look fucking glamorous! You weak motherfucker!

"At least i'm not fat from eating sweet all of the time! Unlike you, toots!"

"News Flash, furry! All the weight that i gain from eating sweets goes straight to my tits! No harm, no foul!"

"WRONG! In that case, your boobs will become so big, they'll snap your back, disabling you from the chest down! You'll be a cripple by winter! A cripple i tell ya! CRIPPLE! "

"EXCUSE ME?!" Stocking says shockingly!

"I can hear the wedding sounds now!" Daffy says, mind numbed with anger. "Here comes the backrest...on the girl with the enormous breasts!

"THAT'S IT!" Stocking yells as she transforms one of her stockings into a katana. He has had enough of his remarks. " I'II cut you till there's NOTHING left, starting with your corkscrew dick!"

"I WILL EAT YOUR DREAMS!" Daffy screams to the heavens! "Grrrr!"

An unknown presence appears in back of Daffy. It was a powerful entity indeed! Used by the legendary vampire, Dio Brando, from Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, his stand, called The World, was at the amucked duck, for some reason!

"WRRYYYYYY!" Daffy yells in peak of blistering fury. Stocking has seen this from Daffy many times before, and is pretty confident.

"HA! That power isn't going to save you THIS TIME!" Stocking howls as she charges at Daffy, with her heavenly katana lunging towards him, swiftly. "You half-wit Jabroni!"

Daffy repeats over and over again "MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA! MUDA!"

They both collided with each other in full force as the shockwave blew up the roof of the Dunkin Donuts...along with Amy, who was blasting off to the other side of Santa Monica! Sonic and Panty look at each other, in utter surprise.

"You wanna watch the Giants game, at home?" Yelled Panty, as the battle was becoming too loud to speak at a regular tone.

"Sure!" Sonic says quickly. Let's run home quickly before Daffy unleashes-"

Daffy yells to the top of his lungs. "ZA WARUDO!" In an instant, The World has stopped time in its tracks. Sonic and Panty, along with Stocking cannot move a muscle.

And to make sure that i don't make this too long, i'm going to sum up what happens afterwards. 3 hours later, they all watched the Giants game at their Santa Monica home, with Daffy and Stocking tied up. Sonic and Panty clank Sprite bottles, and their thirst was quenched for the rest of the night. The end.

The Next Chapter will be in Sonic's POV


	3. Embarrassing Pissy Phase! Part 1 of 2

/Sonic 's POV

Setting: Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California; 7:13pm

As always, i always have a good night sleep in the shared summer home i stay at every weekend. During the weekdays, in Buffalo, New York, i always wake up early to open my Foot Locker store, near downtown Buffalo. How cliche', right? A blue hedgehog who can break the sound barrier in a short amount of time, is running a store that sells footware. It must be the greatest job in the world for me, right? Well, no, you're mistaken unfortunately. I'd rather take a job at Bed Bath & Beyond, then work at a crummy athlete's store. In fact, it would be cool to have a government job, like my good friend Joy. However, you can't have everything you want...and that sucks.

Anyways, i wake up and practically spin dash out of my bed. I just felt really alive today! I also felt hungry as heck. Come to think of it, i also felt pretty darn lazy. I felt so lazy that i just want to heat up a hot dog, some chili, cheese, and onions, and make a chili dog for breakfast. It was probably not good for me, but i didn't care, i just wanted food. I decided it was about time to go to the kitchen and make my breakfast before 7:30. Why? Because, the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory was recorded last night and i looked forward to watching it. I would have watched it last night, but...crap happened!

So, i make my way into the kitchen, right? I strut with not a care in the world, preparing to be lazy with my first meal of the day, and eat a heated up chili dog, while watching the latest episode of my favorite show. I had my morning all figured out. I didn't really see coming, the fact that the very morning i wanted to go through, would soon be destroyed, faster than the naked eye. I enter the kitchen, not expecting anyone to be there, right? Well, i didn't expect to see Panty up, making breakfast by herself!

"Uh..." I say rather precautiously. "...Goodmorning?" Panty immediately cocked her head towards my direction, with a very joyous smile, cooking eggs and bacon on the stove. I'm going to say this right now: Panty never cooks in this house. I've never seen her cook once, mainly because she was too lazy too. Stocking knew how to cook, but all she would want to eat were sweets all day! Daffy is not too far off, either. Now, here's a shocker! Daffy is actually the most experienced cook out of all of us! I've tasted his cooking, and much to my surprise, it was out of this world. But, for some reason, whenever he's here, and he cooks something, he always put powered sugar on it! For Stocking, it was out of this world! Panty and I, however, digress.

I didn't really know how to react to Panty waking up before 11:00. I was pretty dumbfounded. Then she spoke in a rather loud tone.

"It's about damn time, you woke up!" Panty said very excitingly. "I was about to get bored cooking shit for you!"

"Wait, why the heck are you cooking for me?" I said, completely shocked. "Is this a prank?!"

"I dunno, is it, sweet cheeks?!" Panty says playfully and sarcasticly. "All, I see is a blue furry, who was clearly thinking about his long time stalker.

"Her name is Amy, first of all..."

"Well, no shit! You were moaning it so much overnight! I knew you wanted to fuck her!"

"Quit it! I don't want to do that with her. What is wrong with you? And i was NOT moaning her name!"

I lied. I was actually touching myself to her overnight. Yes, i will admit it! I might as well admit it to you guys, because Panty saw right through my ruse. Knowing her, she's never going to let that go...ever!

"Don't fucking lie to me." Panty said in retort, confidently. "Just last night, you were diddling yourself to that pink skank, like a sex-deprived jockey. I gotta say, you have crazier sex dreams than me sometimes! Not to mention kinkier!

"Can you even comprehend the words "Shut Up?"

"Dont feel like it, Mouse Rat! Sorry, but i'm never letting this go, so you better get fucking use to it! By the way, I took a gander at you, fucking yourself, last night. It was pretty hot! I only watched for about 30 seconds though, because the feeling went away afterwards. Mainly because when i saw your rat dick, it look liked the Shawshank Redemption fucked Usain Bolt and Moneypenny, in a 45-way! Not into the whole "People's Penis" type shit, you know? Yours was different though, because it vibrated like the Energizer Bunny. Then it stopped...like the shitty battery that it is. Just to say!

I was simply shocked at what she said to me...and a bit angry! More so at the fact that she watched me pound myself last night. Even if it was for 30 seconds, it was still pretty shocking and awkward. Not to mention, uncomfortable. I wasn't having any of what Panty was saying, but i felt that if tried to say anything, she would turn it against me. On a side note, she was too busy ranting about me, to notice that she was burning the very breakfast that she was "making for me". I would have pointed that out but...didn't want to.

"It could be worse though" said the morbidly cocky Panty. "You could have done that in Stocking's room without her permission. Hah! Imagine if she were to catch you doing that in her room. I would fucking cry!" I didn't want to imagine any of that. I'm not crazy...believe me, i'm not. Panty then started to imitate her sister, on what would happen if i jerked off in her room. "What the shit?!" Panty imitates Stocking in a high-pitched tone, " Goddamn it, stop diddling yourself in my fucking room!"

Now, get this. As soon as Panty finished her sentence, we both hear a loud howl coming from Stocking's room, to the left of the kitchen. That yell, was from Stocking! What did she yell? Well...

"Goddamn it, stop diddling yourself in my fucking room!" Stocking yells, as powerful as the gust of a thousand winds! In all honesty, for some reason, i had a feeling that something like this would happen. Why? I'll tell you why. I noticed to the right of the kitchen that Daffy's door to his room was open. He was not in his room when i checked in. Also, Daffy and Stocking do not have the tendency to get along often, and their encounters usually mean one thing: Hell on earth! So, either someone broke into our house to masturbate in Stocking's Room...or Daffy snuck into Stocking's room to masturbate, getting caught in the process. Panty and i exchange glances, sharing that we were both hesistant to go in the room.

"Ok, i dunno what the fuck is happening, but let's just go and get this over with before the house burns down." Panty says, in a very blunt fashion.

And i couldn't have agreed more...

To be continued in part 2 


	4. Embarrasing Pissy Phase! Part 2 of 2

/Sonic's POV

Setting: Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California; 7:20pm

Panty and I, rushed to Stocking's room, bracing ourselves for what we were about to get ourselves into. I was for one, pretty terrified! Knowing Stocking and Daffy's harsh relationship, they were probably at the verge of killing each other dead. Athough, by the sounds of what Stocking yelled earlier...

~Flashback~

"Goddamnit, stop diddling yourself, in my fucking room!" Stocking yelled friviously.

~End Flashback~

...It sounds like it is going to be alot worse than that! When we got to Stocking's door, all of what Panty and I heard was screaming...the blood-curtling kind. We heard two different blood-curtling screams. One from Stocking, and one from, you guessed it...Daffy freaking Duck! We both immediately barged in the room, to find a very awkward picture! Basically, Daffy was shaking in terror, with his body covering Stocking's TV, as if he is hiding something from her. As Daffy was yelling from the top of his lungs, so was Stocking-as she had her heavenly katana, dangerously close to Daffy's head.

"I'm going to fucking KILL you!" Stocking howls in a pit of rage, as she is ready to slit Daffy's throat.

"Ahhh, i didn't do it! I'm not a crook! I'm NOT A CROOK!" Daffy retorts, in his own stupid way, imitating Richard Nixon! Panty then decided to say something before Stocking killed him.

"Hey Hookers!" Panty yells so that they both get her attention. Daffy and Stocking both turn to see Panty and i, in a very concerned matter. "What the fuck are you guys doing to each other? Are you guys kink fucking or something? "

"NO!" yelled both Stocking and Daffy, with very angry yet worried faces!

"Then what is it?!" I said. "We just heard you two yelling from the damn kitchen! It HAS to be something, guys! Seriously!

"Oh, i'll explain what happened!" Stocking says firmly and confidently. "I'll explain it real fucking good! Daffy snuck into my fucking room, diddling himself to something he watching on MY fucking television, while i was fucking sleeping! And when i finally wake up, what do i find? Daffy fucking his corkscrew dick, about to fucking cum on my fucking television. And, i'm about to find out what the hell he was jacking off to!"

"Ahahaha!" Panty laughs out of nowhere, at least in my eyes. "That's hilarious! Just last night, i caught Sonic here, didling himself as well, to get this: The fucking pink hedgehog that we saw yesterday. He was like "Oh, Amy! Pound my sonic dick with your Piko-Piko Hammer! Oh! Ohhhh! Hammer it until you get enough rings from me to twist it, like a witchdoctor! Then suck it so hard, like it's a Bop It Toy!"

"PANTY!" I yelled in extreme shock! "WHAT! THE! ACTUAL! FRICK!

"You fricked yourself, alright!" Panty says as she playfully winks at me. I felt very uncomfortable. I know Panty was just toying with me, but it was still annoyingly uncomfortable.

"Noooo!" I didn't do ittt!" Daffy screamed to the top of his lungs, in anguish!

Stocking kicked Daffy in the sidegut, with all of her might, launching him to the left of her room, and slamming into the wall. Stocking then gave a rather concerning devilish grin.

"Now, let's see what kind of shit you were rubbing your duck dick to, shall we?!" Stocking howled as she rushed to her TV. Panty couldn't stop giggling and i could not get the smug look out of my face...and what we saw next was absolutely horrifying. To Panty, it was comedy gold.

Stocking immediately turn on the TV, and the thing, or rather the TV show that he was touching himself too, was revealed. Oh sweet lord...Daffy is going to hell for what he was wanking too. What he was wanking too was this: A certain pair of 4 anthropromorphic reptillian brothers, who fight crime, at night, to also thwart the plan of an ancient japanese clan, all while being trained by an anthropormic rat that knows martial arts, and the way of the ninja. This show was unfortunately...

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Heroes in a Half Shell, Turtle Power!"

That's right...Daffy Duck himself...was giving himself a good ol' rub...to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...unbelievable! He gets off to human-like turtles with bulging muscles, who fight crime at night...*sigh* When i saw that, my face was completely blank. Stocking's face was even blanker than mines were. To say the least, we were completely speechless. Panty however, completely lost it.

"Ahahahahahahaha!" Panty laughs obnoxiously, falling to the floor and continuing to laugh uncontrollably. "Daffy likes reptile dick! Ahahahahahaha!"Panty couldnt control herself, as she was rolling on the floor, nonstop. Stocking and i slowly cocked our heads towards Daffy's direction. Daffy was dumbfounded, knowing that he was caught redhanded. He decided that it was time to bite the bullet, and confess his sins.

"Umm..." Daffy stalls, in fear. Then, he confesses. "They were hot?!"

I then questioned myself: What is life? Is this real life? Am i dead? Am i in hell? Am i in what Panty and Stocking call heaven? I was in a very vunerable place...a very empty vunerable place. I completely forgot that I wanted to watch The Big Bang Theory. I also completely forgot that the kitchen was on fire, because Panty left the stove on, burning the eggs so much that the bottom of the pan, that the eggs were cooking on, burst into flames, if that makes any sense.

Unfortunately, we had to call in the Santa Monica fire department, to take care of this. We couldnt make anything homemade for the next week until the carpenter that we called in, after the firefighters were gone, comes over. However, we wanted it done now. Panty did some snooping around on Facebook and found out that our carpenter by the name of, and i'm not joking when i say this "Witch Bandara-sama". Her American name is Rita Repulsa, you know, from the original Power Rangers. And you'll never guess where she also works. She works part time in a White Castle near the edge of Santa Monica...we went there next, to not only give her a piece of our minds...but to get some White Castle for breakfast,since we all worked up an appitite, discovering Daffy's fetish. I would say that hopefully, things would get better fast, but i probably already tempted Lady Karma, so we'll just see what happens next.


	5. To Santa Monica! Very Reluctantly!

/Joy's POV

Setting: White Castle; Santa Monica, California; 8:00am.

Let me ask you a question. Have you every looked at someone and thought: What is going on inside of their head? Well, i know what goes on inside of Shadow the Hedgehog's head. At least, i think i do.

Now, i'm no mind reader or anything, but i think that Shadow and i are becoming very good friends. Well, at least it think i do. Again, i'm not a mind reader. Shadow and i have a very awkward history, up to this point, and very recently, our bond has started to improve. It's not much of an improvement, but the sheer fact that it's starting to improve, makes me smile widely.

I'm Joy, and i'm the proud and active Mayor of the greatest city in the world, Buffalo, New York! This city has everything: The greatest people, the greatest jobs, the greatest-well, everything really! I'm am insanely proud to be serving this great city, to say the least. I currently live with two of the greatest friends i can ever have, one of which is my lovely, and very amazing fiancee'! Their names are Sonic the Hedgehog and Daffy Duck-also known as my lovely and very amazing fiancee'!

I enjoy living with my boys, and it's a blast living with them! We always have so much fun together! Well...most of the time! Some times, they get at each other's throats, for the most weirdest things! For example, there was this situation where Daffy and Sonic were arguing over the fact that Daffy was..."abusing his fuse" to a very popular TV Show. Now, I love my future husband with all of my heart! When he's happy, i'm happy, and nothing makes me happier when Daffy is happy. But, i find it...odd, that he "gives himself a helping hand" to the TV Show, Everybody Loves Raymond.

Now, i will admit, that Ray Romano is very attractive...somewhat. I also loved him in the Ice Age series of movies. I just don't understand why Daffy has such a sensual attraction towards him. I don't mind if he has sexual interests, other than females, and i'm always more than happy to experiment with him, should the situation arise. I just find it very weird, that's all. But, above all else, i support my Daffy no matter what. If he wants to "butter the corn" to Ray Romano, then he should just have at it! As long as he's happy, i'm happy!

Every weekend, Sonic and Daffy, go to Santa Monica, California, to take some time to relax from what they go through on a daily basis. Sonic runs a Foot Locker store, near Downtown Buffalo, while Daffy runs an Olive Garden, right next to Sonic's Foot Locker store. They both get a ton of business, and they are always exhausted every day they come home. The flow of people are nonstop for them every day. They get amazing business, mainly due to the large amount of tourist, and Buffalonians, visiting their current area. Overall, they are insanely hard workers who deserve millions of dollars for their hard work.

I normally don't go with them every weekend, mainly because i'm too busy serving the great city of Buffalo. But recently, i've come to terms with the fact that...my fellow team members think that i work too hard. Now, i digress! I could never work too hard for my fellow Buffalonians. There is so much to get done, and as soon as humanely possible. I just don't have the time for breaks, you know? But, everyone in the office just suggested that i should at least take off during the weekends. Can you believe that? Weekends are the most busy, with the most events happening.I cant just bail on everything, when the city and my coworkers needs me the most. I would just be doing an overall disservice

Recently, i had a change of heart. I realize that if i wear myself out too much, i wont be able to do my work, at my utmost best. Plus, i was forced by City Council to take off during the weekends, since they were concerned about my overall health. I was healthy as a horse, and still am, but unfortunately, City Council thought otherwise. So, today, i am in Santa Monica California, with one of my best friends in the whole world, Shadow the Hedgehog! We're currently eating at a White Castle to eat some delicious California sliders! This is my first time eating at White Castle, along with Shadow, so this should be very fun!

Many of you may ask me: Why is Shadow with me? Well, recently Shadow has been in a very depressive state. His former girlfriend, Satsuki Kiryuin, broke up with him because she thought she was cheating on him with Claire Farron, a.k.a, Lightning(known for starring in the game Final Fantasy XIII, and her girlfriend Aqua, who is well-known for being in the Kingdom Hearts series of video games, at the same time. Now, before i confuse you even further, let me give you a summary of Shadow's living arrangement.

There is a certain building right across from the house that i live in. There lies a detective agency known as Devil May Cry. This building has 3 floors, with different people living in each floor. On the first floor, Dante and his partners, Trish and Lady, reside. In the second floor, Shadow lives in an apartment with two roommates. One of them is my close friend, Disgust, who is mad at me for reasons i don't know about. The other is this very fashionable British lady, named Cereza. The majority call her by the name Bayonetta, but i like to call her Cereza, as it's more personal and friendly to call her by her real name, in my opinion.

Ligthning and Aqua live right across from them, as they share an apartment together. Shadow hangs out with Lightning and Aqua slightly more, than with Disgust and Bayonetta. Regardless, Satsuki realized this and felt very threatened by the fact. In my opinion, she was very misinformed. Just because Shadow is surrounded by close female friends who are more attractive than her, doesn't not give her the incentive to break Shadow's heart! That is not ok, in my book, and i can assure you of that.

As for the 3rd floor...i really don't know what lies within there. I couldn't really tell you, to be honest. Anyways, I pratically, but happly, begged Shadow to come with me on the weekends, so he can get away from everything and spend some time with me. I know i was being a bit forceful, but if it means that Shadow will cope, i will be as forceful as i can, if it means Shadow will be happy. But, above all else, I, Joy, will be making sure that Shadow has the best weekends of his entire life. Even as we start off in Santa Monica, eating White Castle together, it will be a step towards complete cope of his break up. My job throughout the weekends will be to help him through this, as positively as possible. As long as Shadow is happy, i'll be happy!


	6. Joy and Shadow go to White Castle!

/Joy's POV

Setting: White Castle; Santa Monica, California; 8:10am.

I feel very optimistic today! It's a beautiful day outside in Santa Monica, California and my good friend Shadow and I are eating some delicious White Castle. Well...we are about to eat it. We just recently order about 10 sliders(5 for each of us), and we're waiting currently for them. I just have a good feeling that today is going to be amazing day! Only...Shadow doesn't feel the same way right now. He is still trying to cope with the fact that his ex-girlfriend Satsuki Kiryuin, broke up with him about a week ago, all because of the fact that he is surrounded by women more attractive than her. Can you believe that? The fact that she broke up with such an amazing person due to her own insecurities, is just awful, especially when Shadow is left to suffer afterwards. Honestly, unbelievable, and just plain terrible.

So, my job today is to keep Shadow, as happy as I possibly can! I have a ton of activities planned for today alone! However before we get into the excitement, we first gotta fill our tummies with some delicious burger sliders. And no one does it better than White Castle!

Well, I haven't had their yummy burgers yet, but I just know that they will be the best sliders I ever had, as well with Shadow!

"I hate White Castle!" Shadow says all of the sudden, with distress in his voice. "Why the hell would take me here for lunch? Their burgers taste like lard! How can you even believe for one second, that these will be amazing to you, hmm?"

Okay...i will admit, I was a bit caught off guard with that statement, but no matter. I need to stay positive!

"Oh, don't be like that!" I said with pure positivity and confidence. "Sometimes, you just need to try it enough times, for it to be delicious to you, ya know? So what , if it's made of nothing but lard? That shouldn't stop you from filling your belly, right?"

I gave a rather over exaggerated smile, as backed up confidence into what I was saying. Now, I'm not saying that consuming lard is the best thing for you, but it gives you comfort nonetheless. Plus, I'm sure it has some nutritional qualities to it...somewhat.  
As I kinda expected however, Shadow was silent towards me.

"Hmph!" He grunted, as he crosses his arms and rolls his eyes, when he is usually annoyed by me. Fortunately, I've gotten use to that, thanks to the many times that he has done that to me. In any case, I don't take it personally. I just let it fly by me, like a summer breeze, with not a care in the world. Our bond won't improve if i show negativity as well, you know, so it's crucial that I stay securely positive!

Then I thought of something really great! You know that TV cliché, where a floating light bulb appears on the top of a person's head, whenever they get a great idea? Well, i got a fun idea for an activity to do while we wait for our yummy burgers. There's a good chance that Shadow may not like it, but i'm going to take that glorious leap of faith and do it anyway! Besides, there's a good chance that he may like it, and enjoy it! As long as there's a slim chance, that's just good enough for me!

"Oh, Shadow?" I say very positively, and a teedie-bit anxiously. Shadow doesn't look at me right away. In fact, he's still kinda rolling his eyes from me. But, that's ok! I intend to change that very soon! "If you can think of anything fun you would like to do right now, anything at all, what would it be?" I say.

"Leave!" Shadow retorts with a rather impatient face.

"Okay...anything else, other than leaving here?"

"No."

"Right...well, i have an idea that you might like very much! Can you guess what that might be? Huuhh?!"

"I'd rather leave..."

"Well, there is a certain game i like to play when waiting for food in a restaurant called Would you Rather. It's one of my favorite games to play before having lunch!"

"Does it involve leaving?"

"Well, not really. Besides, we haven't even gotten our food yet, ya silly goose!"

"To hell with that! Why don't we leave now!"

It's becoming very clear to me that Shadow really doesn't want to be here...or at least with me. But, i can't just leave him here, when he is clearly vulnerable. Going through a break up normally involves alot of emotions that doesn't involves happiness. Emotions such as sadness, anger, disgust, and others, can flood a person's mind, especially when the person was the one that was dumped, like Shadow. As his friend, i cant leave him, even if he doesn't want me near him.

Unfortunately, we couldn't play the game now. Why? Because our food is here! Our server was a very beautiful lady. She seems like she is from Asia, but i can't tell for sure. On her name tag, it says the name "Rita". I only know that name from three seperate entities: The italian ice shop, a distressed exotic dancer who wanted my body, and the main villianess from the TV show, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Regardless, i'm happy that she brung us our food, and you know what, i think i'm going to give her a nice big hug, as my thanks!

BOOOOOMMMMMM!

"Aaugh!" I shrieked, as the explosion clearly started me and our lovely server. It didn't stun Shadow however. Nope, not for a second! He is such a trooper! But the entrance to the store was completely blown off!

The three of us, then saw four rushed figures, emerging from the now gaping hole of an entrance! Much to my surprise, I knew immediately of those four. Sonic was holding Daffy Duck, like a infant baby, for some reason. I didn't know why, but i didn't question it immediately. The other two, were Panty and Stocking Anarchy. I only knew of them, from what Sonic and Daffy have told me about them. They are...more attractive that i previously imagined, let alone in person. But, they seem like very nice people, although they look pretty angry. Besides, any friends of Sonic and my lovely fiancee, are dear friends of mine.

Although, now that i look more closely, Sonic and Daffy looked pretty upset as well. And they all seem to be stairing at Rita...for some reason i feel a bit uneasy. But, no matter! Nothing like a happy, positive attitude, from yours truly, to brighten up anyone's mood. Let's see what the damage is, shall we?


	7. Disgust Rants! The White Castle Incident

/Disgust's POV

Setting: White Castle, Santa Monica, California; 8:30pm

Ugh!...Sometimes, i wonder what it would be like, if i lived in Canada! All the crap that i'm going through right now, could have probably been avoided, if i had just moved to Canada...

Wait, scratch that...Canadians have the lowest form of fashion sense, i have ever seen. Also, i would practically starve with pride, knowing that i won't have eat their horrible food. I don't really care how many of you say that "Oh, Canada is the greatest country in the entire world! This means that i'm also better than everyone else! I can also see Russia from my house!" Whoever thinks of that, clearly doesn't know what they're talking about. With the abysmal experience that i had there, i can say that Canada is the worst place to go to on Planet Earth. It's a big, fat "F" on my book!

Oh, yeah...i guess i should introduce myself now. Whatever. My name is Disgust, and believe it or not, i work as a health inspector. Not a fashion designer or designer chef...just a health inspector. Yeah...uhh...i'm low right now. Realistically, i'm not, but i certainly feel low as a mangy mole rat. Although, i'm pretty knowledgeable about what's gross and what's not, i would never consider doing something, as grime-inducing, as being a health inspector, for the rest of my life. I'd rather drink a glass of Clorox bleach, then do that.

But...it doesn't take a genius to see that i'm forced to work as one. Who is forcing me? My boss of course. Who is enabling her to force me? My other co-worker of course. Who is suffering a slow painful death, because of them? Yours truly. But, can you blame me? I have a 24-year old tomboy of a Scottish princess, who clearly doesn't care about her appearance, and an over ten-thousand year old intergalactic witch, who acts like she has authority over me, but clearly doesn't! I also find it annoying that Merida notices this, and doesn't do a thing about it, whatsoever. I swear her and Rita are so overbearingly stubborn, it makes me wanna throw up, the People's vomit! Yeah...Merida MacDonald and Rita freaking Repulsa...also known as, the banes of my existence! No one cared who i was, till i worked with them, in the flawed food industry.

Today, especially, secures the idea in my mind, that Merida and Rita are the worst people to ever work with, period. Let me explain why, as this whole thing goes down a dirty sewer.

I normally don't go to Santa Monica, California. Why? Because i'm busy working with my version of Cinderella's Evil Stepsisters. Our company sent us to Santa Monica for the weekend in order to inspect this really bland and washed up White Castle joint, near the edge of the city. Why? Don't ask me. Seriously...The reason is probably stupider than dressing up as a Tiffany and Co lamp for Halloween. The only reason i didn't call off on the job was because they offered me a huge bonus...and i really wanted to go to Santa Monica.

Now, i'm starting to regret coming here in the first place. All we needed to do was to inspect the damn place...uhhh...we didn't even accomplish that! We were about 45% done with the inspection, then all of the sudden, Rita Repulsive decided to start, what would later become the day i regret my life, period. Did she start this evergrowing fire? Yes...and the fire rises.

We decided to take a breather, and talk to the crew members, who were in the kitchen at the time, in a casual matter. Although, Merida and I, were ultra-strict when it comes to this type of work, we were still reasonable and fair, unlike our fellow ancient space witch. Rita decides to act spontaneous, and tries to tell one of the new employee, how to do their jobs.

"Hey, nitwit!" Rita says to one of the workers, in an attempt to pose as a cheesy villian. Did i mention that her voice sounds like dying birds in a runway? I mean, the sound of it, make me sick to my stomach. Even if i imagine it, i'll start to gag in my mouth, because it make me feel so rotten on the inside, like steamed broccoli. Ugh! It just sounds so nasely and raspy and cringy...it literally gives me depression. Then again, what do you expect from a washed up hag, like herself? Simple...Depression!

Anways, Rita starts going at it at this random coworker, just to feed her pride, and Merida and I had enough. Merida and i were forced to yell to the top, because Rita Recession, was whining like a hissy cat lady.

"RITA!" We both yell like stressed lionesses. Rita finally ended the crybaby session for the time being, and cocks her head towards us. We were very pissed off.

"What?!" Rita retorts, still sounding like Alvin and the Chipmunks. "This brat doesn't know how to properly serve the customers! This is a restaurant for pete's sake, not a moblie home!"

"Ur ye insane?!" said Merida, in a very fierce tone. "Thes is a fest scran restaurant. They dornt hae tae serve th' customers themselves, if they dornt hae tae. Dornt harass 'at wee bloke coz ay yer nasely attitude!"

"I don't have a nasely attitude!" Rita retorts, nasely. "You don't know what your talking about, Miss McNuggets!" And just like...the one day i actually tolerated working as a health inspector...was squeezed to death before my very eyes, like a coiled snake.

"Yoo're startin' tae test mah patience, Rita!" said the ever annoyed Merida. "Fur th' lest time! Jist cos aam a MacDonald, doesnae pure techt Ah wark at McDonalds. That's a wee racist, dornt ye hink?!"

"Ha! You make me laugh! You couldn't even stomach a sardine sandwich, you half-wit ginger!"

Now, this...is where Merida begins to lose her temper.

"Wit was 'at?!" Merida says as she raises her voice even further. "Hoo daur ye disrespect me, loch 'at?! Yoo're pure askin' fur it, noo!"

I, for one, have had it ! I'm literally about to barf over how much depression this is giving me! If i don't stop this now, i might give into it. I inhaled as much as i could, focused, and yelled: "SHUT UP!" They were caught off-guard by me shouting at them, but i don't care. They're going to listen to me for once and i don't care what happens afterwards.

"Disgust?" Merida says to me, in a surprised tone. I gave her a quick glance and immediately shifted to Rita Repulsion afterwards.

"Seriously?" I said, in the most harshest of tones. I'll tell you right now, i'm straight up done with this fiasco. I'm about to go off on her, like green on broccoli! "It's clear that your tiny little walnut, that you call a brain, can't comprehend the fact that you are old hag, who sounds like a tipsy Fran Drescher having a baby. Of course, that's true! Except, that you're too stupid to realize that, let alone your screw-ups. Do you acknowledge that? Well, duh! Of course not! So i have no choice, but to dumb it down to your level, and simply say this: You...SUCK!"

Rita was clenching her fist in anger of what i was saying to her. Clearly, she can't handle the truth! How could she anyway? She's a stupid witch! She's lucky we were at a public place, or i would have been sooo much harsher! But, the fact that i'm making her pissy, puts a smile on my face, and gives me satisfaction. Things were getting a little better, in my book. Unfortunately, the feeling went away. Why? Because she decided to "serve" the next people that were waiting for their food.

"Aaugh! Ah cannae stain 'er, sometimes!" Merida says. Finally, a thing we can actually agree on. Although, with me, i just can't stand her, period. We both went to the look through one of the windows of the kitchen, leading to a clear view of the dining room. Much to my surprise, I found two of my good friends, who are surpisingly having lunch together: My roommate, Shadow the Hedgehog, who's going through a breakup right now, and Joy, who deliberately wore one of my dresses, to a date with her fiancee, Daffy Duck, without my permission. And she wonders why i'm mad at her...

All of the sudden, a group of four blow up the entrance to the store, for like, no reason, and speed through the newly blasted hole, they have created. Who were they? Well, it was Sonic, Daffy, and the two skanks that they room with on the weekends, like this one. When i looked towards them, they looked very angry. You know what the best part about that was? They all wanted to beat the living vomit out of Rita Renob. That made me so happy!

I turned my head to the right, assuming that Merida was right next to me, as she was before...ummm...she disappeared. She, like, never does that so suddenly. Except, she does, when she sees an oppertunity to settle something. Next thing i know...

"VRRRRSSSSSHHHHH!"

Something rockets out of the serving window, nearly hitting me altogether. Then i took a closer look. At first, i thought it was Tony Stark, with his Iron Man suit, appearing out of nowhere. Then i see the "robot" carrying Merida's bow and arrow...and...you guessed it. It was Merida, wearing a female "Iron Woman " suit. Suddenly, she charges through one of the glass windows, and flew out of there quickly...taking Shadow with him. That caught me off guard. What beef can Merida possibly have with Shadow. I swear, no one tells me stuff anymore. Classic gossip is now dead to me.

Joy was taken off guard too, along with the rest of the humble crew, involving the angel skanks. Then all of the sudden, Rita Regurgitation decides to have a conniption, and violently transform into her true form...with every offense i can give towards her, her outfit looks like schizophrenic space vomit. Just...Eww! But, now it has finally arrived...the day i regret life as a whole. I actually have to fight. Now, i'm going to mess up this very expensive, cashmere dress, due to me putting Rita Ragdoll in her place.

For once, though, i don't mind. As long as i beat her ass, nothing will make me happier at this point. And, just in case, i'm in a pinch...i have a trump card. And that trump card, will be the end of Rita Ridicule. Although, one thing does concern me...Merida and Shadow are about to go at it...and from the vibe of hostility i got from Merida towards my roomie, it doesn't look like it will be pretty. But, i shouldn't be concerned. Shadow is the ultimate life form. Merida's just an impulsive Scotswoman with a bow and arrow...and an Iron Woman Suit. He can take her, easily...he's dealt with much worse anyway.


End file.
